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i'm not a fucking doormat.

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are you serious? you put me through all that because you thought that i had intended to break plans with my sister that i have been desperately trying to make plans with for about 3 FUCKING WEEKS NOW?! are you fucking kidding me?
i am so fucking spent.
i cannot catch a fucking break. i'm always broke. 1 step forward is a bout 5 steps backwards. i am the only one that is constantly trying to keep up with everything and everyone all at once. and when i make plans i don't fucking break them. sure i'll be M.I.A. up until about 30mins before our scheduled plans but i'll fucking be there and be ready to go on time. so don't fucking doubt me.
this weekend has been THE biggest stress because i am broke and it's my sisters birthday and goddamn maybe i wanted to do some NICE for MY FUCKING SISTER. 
i'm so fucking tired of this. i don't think i take much more of this. so thanks for swinging me into a panic attack and then acting like i'm fucking DOING IT ON PURPOSE.


and yes i'm tired and haven't slept in of 24 hours and i'm upset about a shit ton of things including all of the things that you just said to me. but don't you just LOVE how i was trying to comfort YOU while i'm nearly collapsed on the GODDAMN KITCHEN FLOOR. panic attacks do just happen sometimes you cow. but thanks for being a bitch to me while i'm at my most fucking vulnerable and weakest point. means a whole fucking lot.

and everyone wonders why i think that no one gives a shit about me. i feel like i'm life doormat. anything and anyone can come and wipe their feet on me and just keep on walking. and what am i left with? 

Current Mood:
pissed off pissed off
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