favourite songs of the week:
nelly furtado -- all good things come to an end
the submarines -- xavia
lenka -- the show
lenka -- trouble is a friend
robert pattinson -- [all of his songs lol]
the polyphonic spree -- light and day
sheryl crow -- detours
the killers -- human
gavin degraw -- chariot
my ipod has been dead for forever
and i'm kind of pissed at circuit city because i still haven't received my copy of the twilight soundtrack that i ordered.
them: "If you go down to Hammond
you'll never come back
In my opinion you're
on the wrong track
We'll always love you but
that's not the point"
me: "Well I went down to Hammond
I did as I pleased
I ain't the only one
who's got this disease
Why don't you face the fact
you old upstart
We fall apart"
we fall apart.
i hate people.
i hate ignorant people.
i hate phony people.
i hate shitty people.
i hate selfish people.
i hate catty people.
i hate malevolent people
i hate self-righteous people.
i hate malicious people.
i hate manipulative people.
i hate political people.
i hate judgmental people.
i hate obnoxious people.
i hate arrogant people.
i hate ignorant people.
i hate people.
ohk i'm done.
so today i was cruising the bbc news site during my forensics class and i found an article about dido taking music classes in los angeles.
at the end of the article it mentions her new single "don't believe in love". she says "i want it to mean whatever anyone wants it to mean" which made me really think about it.
I wanna go to bed with arms around me
Oh I can’t look at you this morning
If I don’t believe in love nothing will last for me
Maybe I slept peaceful on your shoulder
The second that I feel your safe hands
If I don’t believe in love nothing is good for me
When I don’t believe in love why do you care for me?
If I don’t believe in love
really i think it's about those who take love for granted. or i guess that's what it's about for me. without love what would we be. as corny as that sounds it really does make you think. if absolutely no one loves us or cares about us we become nothing. we succumb to nothing.
The fall harvest is showing up in markets now, including many of the green vegetables children find so disgusting and yet are forced to eat. What is the most disgusting thing you’ve eaten, either by choice or against your will?
the most disgusting thing i've ever eaten...
narrowed down to two things, i'd have to say dog food and deer meat.
once when i was little i was tricked into eating dog food. and once in elementary school we had a potluck where we brought in something from the country's we were from that was of our heritage and this kid misunderstood and brought in deer meat of a deer his dad had shot and killed earlier in the week. it was just lovely. and the best part is that he didn't tell anyone what it was until the end of the project when we were presenting our little books we had made AFTER we had finished eating. and its not like it wasn't bad before you knew it was deer meat and then became disgusting. it was just gross. my teacher had thought it was spoiled jerky or something and then when he said it was deer meat we were all gagging.
so i before i dunno... a month ago...?? i knew nothing about pro-ana or any of these communities where you could talk to people just like you everyday. which i think it mostly why i used to be so depressed before. anywho, along with not knowing about any of that i never really knew that much about eating disorders. i've always just kind of assumed that i was ana but i found out i'm not. apparently i'm ed-nos. i fit every single 'category' of it. except the one about having a regular period.
..just though that was interesting...
so the night before last me and my family were looking over some pictures from when me and my sister were little. and I couldn't help but notice, how different everything was then. though is was only 10 or so years ago, everything just seemed so different. lighter. more peaceful. there were pictures of our old homes and where we traveled all over the UK and the USA as well, and in them, there wasn't even a hint of fear, or danger, or doubt. everything was right. calm. but nowadays you don't get such a reassurance. now all you hear about is gas prices and global warming, war, disasters, crime. and it never lets up. nothing ever gets better. nothing ever seems to get resolved. because even if on the off chance something great is achieved something dark over-shadows it in it's next breath. it never lasts. things only seem to get worse. and people say "this is only the beginning, just wait to see what's waiting for us" on the horizon..what a comfort. i really hope that that means things are to be getting better because the way we're going nowadays what are to expect but more danger? more destruction? and ultimately more fear?
we live today in such a cloud of fear. it hovers over us, trapping the best of us in our small lives. forcing them into mediocrity and insignificance.
people of the world. stand up and look. what in hell are we doing. we all go about in our little routines day after day after day. how long will it take people to realize that things must change. they need to change. will this only be realized when our routines are broken, stripped from us, due to gas prices, or war, or whatever danger we may fear?
change is needed. no longer is it inevitable when nobody stops to take action toward it.
why are we so afraid of the world we live in? we need not be.