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I'm so tired of no one giving a fuck. Today was a fucking effort and I hate haviing to be that bitch that puts on the happy face for everyone else when really it kills me inside. 
I feel like at this moment MacGuff is the only one who cares. The only person who actively wants to be around me and talk to me and help me. INstead of being like everybody and and avoiding the dark parts. Those dark parts are haunting. I feel like they can possess you can take over you if you hold them all locked up inside too long. 

Probably why I have panic attacks. 

But I'm tired and can't really be as coherent as I'd like to be at the moment.

When in doubt, "just close your eyes and think of England."

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On September 18th, 2011 06:03 am (UTC), addimij commented:
You could write more often,dear,to feel easier,Vadim.
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